An Early Teaching Story

I was reminded of one of my classic stories by the recent discovery of this picture of my first AP Physics class from Swampscott (2004?):

Note how my bald spot is super visible when I'm writing on the board.

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So, I'm teaching this freshmen class (not the one pictured above!) and I turn my back to the class in order to write something at the very top of the board.  This girl in the front row whispers to her friend "Oh, he has a bald spot!".  Now, I'm sure she meant to be discrete but the class was very quiet and she was only about three feet behind me.  I figure this is an opportunity too good to pass up.

I slow my writing down and stop.  Without turning around, I slowly cap my marker.  As I turn around, this girl (pretty sure her name was Skyler) visibly slinks down in her chair and starts to stammer "Oh, Mr. Rideout I didn't mean..." 

I interrupt with a slightly annoyed gesture saying "It's okay.  But, you know, a man gets to be a certain age... and he gets sensitive about his appearance."  She slinks even lower into her chair.

"But that's okay, because it's got me thinking about ... thinking about ... religion."

At this point the entire mood of the class goes from bemusement/anxiety to intrigue and puzzlement.  Skyler stop slinking towards to the ground and looks surprised.

"You know, people choose their religions all wrong.... Oh my parents are such and such so I will be too.... or, oh I like this one philosophically... or, I like the traditions and sacraments of this one.... all these common ways are the wrong ways to go about it."

"What you gotta do is think about the fashion accessories.  That's right, choose your religion based on the fashion accessories folks:  Want to rock out a big cross on a necklace:  Christianity is for you my friend.  Looking to cover up with some sweet head gear:  Islam may be your calling.  Got a nice little bald spot that a yarmulke would be the perfect size to cover up?  Yes, indeed, I'm thinking I should be Jewish!"

At this point everyone is laughing and Skyler has come back to normal sized and is smiling.  Little did I know she was Jewish!  Later that semester, when we broke for the seasonal holiday, I became the first goy to get the gift of a yarmulke for Christmas...