AM invited me to her end of year recital. I'm embarrassed to admit that, usually, I enter one of two modes when watching students perform: (1) I get nervous for them and relate to them performing as a teacher watching a student or (2) I relate to them performing as my own teenage self (who would have been focused on the wrong things: Who was watching?, What were they thinking?, etc.).
The thing is both of these 'modes' really sabotage my ability to relate to a performance as a work of art. Even non-student performances I have see in recent years are ones at which I relate primarily as a father (what are my kids getting out of this? are they bored? was this age appropriate? will it detract from their own development if I share what I noticed?). So, once again, I'm missing out on the immersive experience of the Art.
Tonight however, the technical skill and intense focus on the music released me in a way I haven't experienced in years. Despite the fact that I had brought Seb, I was immersed in the music. Certainly, I appreciated the technical skill and I was aware the performer was a student of mine, but I got that sublime feeling of being taken on a journey. An emotional journey that only a fine work for art can take you on. I got the feelings that I had when I first discovered art house cinema. The first time I was in an art museum and an exhibit forced me to relate to the world in a different way. The first jazz concert when I realized live music can deliver something recorded music can not. Many many experiences I had in my late teens and early 20's but have been, sadly, increasingly rare as the years accumulate.
For an hour or so tonight though, I was set free again. Free to explore an emotional landscape with a skilled guide. I had those old feelings of discovery and adventure like my first Magritte exhibit, like when I saw Bill T Jones dance, like when I saw Henry Threadgill in New York City, like when I saw La Strada for the first time.
Thank you, AM. Thank you and permit me to compliment you on being such a capable and gifted tour guide.
