Grokking "Changing your mind"

As I was reading an article on neuronal plasticity this morning, I had a bit of an epiphany.  There were no really new facts to me:  your brain is constantly rewiring itself in response to your needs and environment.  However, I really felt this plasticity of the brain as a physical thing for the first time.  

Of course it takes time for the brain to physical build up/tear down synapses, create new cells, development new feedback loops etc.  I realized it was like developing a callus on your finger when you write a lot for several days in a row or how your muscles ache and hurt when you start exercising again after a long break from being active, or how your knees and ankles hurt when you start running again after months of inactivity.

from this morning's article

I have a picture in my mind of my mind (recursion alert!) getting pressed upon by some kind of complex cheeseboard with an elaborate pattern engraved on it (representing the external stimuli or my own efforts to change my mental paradigm).  Of course one imprinting will not do the trick.  I'm not going to go through all the work and trouble of tearing down synapses and making new ones unless you hit me with that cheeseboard several times and, even then, it will take me a while.

So I plan to be a bit more forgiving to myself when it takes me a while to break out of an unhelpful mental loop or retrain myself to think about something or someone differently than I did before.  Just like I know I will have to ease back into my yoga routine if I haven't done anything for months...

It's funny how you can know something (as in knowing the facts) for years but you may not really understand it at all. 

(For those who don't get the reference, the word 'grok' is from Heinlein's classic Stranger in a Strange Land)

The Ship of Theseus and Wings of Desire

If every electron is the same as every other electron and, in fact, all subatomic particles are universal modules, then why and how am I who I am?

If every carbon atom* is the same as every other carbon atom in the universe, then why and how am I who I am?

If every organelle in my cells is the same as every organelle in your body, then why am I me and not you?

If it is the exact sequence of ATGC’s in my DNA and the exact configuration of the weights of my neuronal connections that make me uniquely me then what a burden it is from second to second for me to desperately replace those indiscriminate carbon atoms in exactly the right places!

Maybe, I just have a story I tell myself that I am still me as I swap out carbon after carbon atom and keep reconstructing myself according to an ever-changing blueprint?

I am who I am because I think I am who I am.  In effect, I will myself into being every single moment of the day.  

Sounds so tiring and yet invigorating at the same time.  

My parts are your parts but the sum of my parts is different from the sum of yours.

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I was thinking this blog entry was inspired simply by old Ship of Theseus idea but as I reread it just now, I realized it really inspired by the poetry-laden Wenders film “Wings of Desire”. 

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*(aside from some inconsequential isotopic variations)

Said/Unsaid, A Poem

The word unsaid

Is hard to say.

But, once said,

can not be un-said.

We carry thoughts

Inside, weight-il-y.

They fight to be free; 

to slip your mental cage.

If we do release,

There is bliss

In the light-en-ing -

‘Tis true.

The word unsaid

Is easy to say.

But then… 

The knowing:

Encumbering others

To relieve our selves.

Sharing can be self-ish-ness.

Best unsaid.

But, perhaps, not never said.

That's a Wrap!

I finally got around to watching I Heart Huckabees which has been on my to-see list since it came out almost 20 years ago.

Everything/Nothing as Serious/Funny

Partly I have avoided it since I intuited that it was flippant with material I feel to be very weighty.  Well, it is but, somehow, it kinda worked for me.   I mean what's not to like about a movie that treats existentialism as central to our lives whether we admit it or not and then ends with a joke about existentialism (and thus the movie itself)?

The set up:  The main characters are planning an environmental protest in which they will chain themselves to some bulldozers.

Final lines of the movie:

"Should I bring my own chains?"

"We always do."

Just Goes with The Territory

Before the break, we needed a hands-on activity for physics class.  We decided to go with the make-your-own-mobile project since we had been studying torques in class (thank you, Ms. Kreutter, for that project!).  Students were to bring in their own thematic items to hang in several off-set tiers.  A typical one might look like this:

(shout out to EC and KS for having the first completed mobile!)

Now, in the middle of this activity, I go to the weekly leadership team meeting (yes, they still let me attend for some reason).  As soon as I walk in, the new librarian waves me over and surreptitiously hands me a sheet of paper.

"I found this on the printer in the media center the other day.  I was wondering if I should be concerned so I called over another teacher and she just said 'Oh, that's just Rideout - no problem.  If it was a different teacher, you might need to follow up.' "  

I look at the print out, laughed a bit nervously and start to explain "Yes, well, ahem, you see - there's this mobile project and, umm, they are hanging things and one group thought it'd be funny to put my face on the items..."

At this point, the principal walks by.  She glances down at the sheet in my hands and has heard the last few words coming out of my mouth.  She smiles and looks at both of us, "More members of the fan club, Rideout?"  and walks on by.

Slightly ashamed, I grab my seat next to the history department chair.  He sees the print out now, too, and, without missing a beat says, "Oh, I see you got my print-out for me, Ken, thanks!".

Here's the final product: (You have to look hard to see the pics but they are on there)

Pretty sure OL and SX are more in the Rideout-Mocking club than the Fan Club...

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Astute readers will notice there is a ringer amongst the photos.  When I pointed this out to the Mobile Makers, they said "That's the version of you you wish you were."

Walking to Work...

Sometimes you just have to stop and appreciate the beauty

The Genius of Nick Cave, an example

 Take a listen:

That bass lets you know there's something menacing afoot, right?  

Then you starting tuning in on some clues:  

"Who was it you called the good shepherd," Hmmm... seems like a Jesus/Christian reference

"Who measured the distance from the planets
Right down to your big blue spinning world"  Compare to Isaiah 40:12: Who has measured the waters in                                                                             the hollow of his hand, or with the breadth of his hand                                                                                     marked off the heavens?

So, Nick is putting into juxtaposition the role of parenting and that of god and mankind.

But, what about that refrain and title?  Could it be a reference to the 1959 classic Gwendolyn Brooks poem: We Real Cool 

Live fast but die young? The folly of youth is to think they are cool. Hmmm...

Go back to those opening lines: "Who took your measurements? From your toes to the top of your head"

I was thinking your parents or a doctor when you are born or maybe god may be measuring mankind, but the undertaker does that as well when he puts you in your coffin now doesn't he?  

So, quick recap:  We have themes of parenting, god, birth, and death.

Now what about this pivot to Wikipedia and facts about the stars?

Have we lost religion and replaced it with science? Or is it that science and religion are where we turn to for answers? Or is it simply that when we look at those stars, we are looking into the past?  Is a single human life a metaphor for the life of our species in the cosmos?  Are we all always stuck to be simply looking to the past?  Do we, as a species, think we are so cool simply because we are so young in the cosmic scheme and don't know anything?

"The past is the past and it's here to stay" Yes, we can always visit our departed loved ones in our memories just like we see the light from those long dead stars...

"And I hope you hear me, and you'll call" 

Do the dead hear us?  Can we get a call from the past?  Do we as a species know anything?  Are we, as a species, living fast and dying young? If god is out there, is she going to reach out?

Damn, Nick, did you just sing me a song about life, death, god, science, and the fundamental human condition of not knowing anything for sure except that we yearn for connection and meaning?

I looked up the album notes in Wikipedia and  Nick said "if I were to use that threadbare metaphor of albums being like children, then Push The Sky Away is the ghost-baby in the incubator".  So the song is meta as well: a song about songs (just like the 1959 poem has a jazz reference embedded in it!)... Every song is like a child to an artist, isn't it?

Awestruck am I.  Even if I'm just projecting my own stuff into your magnificent song, thanks for creating the space for me, Nick.

"Yeah, we real, real cool"