On My Way to the Monocle

Often my students have heard me say "I just wear them to look smart" whenever I am without my glasses.  ("Mr. Rideout, are you wearing contacts?")

If I am feeling generous I go ahead and tell them the full story:
  How my right eye is actually 20/20 but my left eye is weaker.
  How, if I don't wear glasses, my brain tunes out my left eye and the optometrist told me I could eventual lose the sight in that eye if I never force it to work.
  How I start centering everyone in my right field of view toward the end of a day without glasses by rotating my head to the left.
  How when I am older and hair is growing out of my ears and my eyebrows are out of control, I look forward to wearing a monocle and breaking it out when a freshman asks me to look over their work. "Hmmm... let me see here, sonny-boy..."



Last friday I added a new one:
  How I wear the glasses to hide my super-hero identity, Clark Kent style.

Fate* has punished me for this latest claim by breaking the right rim of my glasses.  Since my glasses are always dirty, the funny thing is I see better without the clear glass over my right eye.  So I plan to go to school on Monday looking like this:

*by Fate I mean Sebastien because he is the one most likely to twist my glasses in shapes it was never meant to hold.